A little more info.
Aug. 9th, 2022 10:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cafeultraBecca is friendly, and she can be really charming when she tries. But there's still an awkwardness in her, sometimes extreme shyness. She can talk a lot about the spooky stuff she's interested in, though struggles in other areas of conversation. When she displays confidence, more often than not she's faking it. Only occasionally is it actually genuine.
She was bullied through most of her childhood straight on through high school. As a result, she's paranoid, and frankly she expects people to be shitty to her. Most of her relationships have been entirely sexual in nature. Deep down she wants to make a more stable connection, romantic or platonic, though she's both terrified of letting herself be that vulnerable with someone and not entirely sure how to meet someone for that purpose.
Her relationship with her family is strained as well. Not just with her parents, but also her sister and her extended family. She grew up with a very religious upbringing that she rejected early on, which created quite a rift between herself and everyone else. She was and is very much an outcast in her family. Becca's sister was very clearly the favorite since her birth, and it fostered a lot of bitterness and resentment that she's still trying to deal with, even in adulthood after cutting them out of her life.
So, she focuses on her work - she's absolutely a workaholic and a perfectionist. She's committed to running Cafe Ultra by herself, even if that means she can only keep the shop open part time. On top of this, she has a full-fledged writing career with regular blog posts on The Red Pages, as well as published non-fiction and fiction books.
In general, she's extremely eager to please, but especially in a sexual relationship. She gravitates toward authoritative partners, usually older than herself. Her partners aren't always good to her; she's sometimes willing to be treated poorly just to have some kind of connection with someone and to feel wanted. She does have genuine interest in and desire to be kinky, and generally has no shame about the things that bring her pleasure, sexual or otherwise. She likes exploring new things, but she's getting better about voicing her limits when she's not into something. This can change, if she's unhealthily into someone - but this is something that would require established, written CR and possibly OOC discussion. It's not something I feel comfortable handwaving.
When Becca gets really attached to someone, she can get obsessive. She may resort to less-than-healthy (or downright toxic) coping mechanisms and other behaviors as a result.
She very much wants genuine friendships and relationships, but feels like she's going to mess them up, or as though people are just pretending to be interested in her, whether romantic or platonic. She tends to self-sabotage a lot because of this, figuring that things will only get screwed up eventually anyway. It's something she's aware of and is trying to work through.
She was bullied through most of her childhood straight on through high school. As a result, she's paranoid, and frankly she expects people to be shitty to her. Most of her relationships have been entirely sexual in nature. Deep down she wants to make a more stable connection, romantic or platonic, though she's both terrified of letting herself be that vulnerable with someone and not entirely sure how to meet someone for that purpose.
Her relationship with her family is strained as well. Not just with her parents, but also her sister and her extended family. She grew up with a very religious upbringing that she rejected early on, which created quite a rift between herself and everyone else. She was and is very much an outcast in her family. Becca's sister was very clearly the favorite since her birth, and it fostered a lot of bitterness and resentment that she's still trying to deal with, even in adulthood after cutting them out of her life.
So, she focuses on her work - she's absolutely a workaholic and a perfectionist. She's committed to running Cafe Ultra by herself, even if that means she can only keep the shop open part time. On top of this, she has a full-fledged writing career with regular blog posts on The Red Pages, as well as published non-fiction and fiction books.
In general, she's extremely eager to please, but especially in a sexual relationship. She gravitates toward authoritative partners, usually older than herself. Her partners aren't always good to her; she's sometimes willing to be treated poorly just to have some kind of connection with someone and to feel wanted. She does have genuine interest in and desire to be kinky, and generally has no shame about the things that bring her pleasure, sexual or otherwise. She likes exploring new things, but she's getting better about voicing her limits when she's not into something. This can change, if she's unhealthily into someone - but this is something that would require established, written CR and possibly OOC discussion. It's not something I feel comfortable handwaving.
When Becca gets really attached to someone, she can get obsessive. She may resort to less-than-healthy (or downright toxic) coping mechanisms and other behaviors as a result.
She very much wants genuine friendships and relationships, but feels like she's going to mess them up, or as though people are just pretending to be interested in her, whether romantic or platonic. She tends to self-sabotage a lot because of this, figuring that things will only get screwed up eventually anyway. It's something she's aware of and is trying to work through.
